joy in me

I’m currently working on my year end review for work. My “year end” was technically June 11th, but we’ve been busy, so it’ll happen tomorrow. The way it works in our office is that the boss generally fills out our “performance review.” I have been told that by boss did fill out one,  and was also asked to fill out one for myself. From my own  perspective.  Three words: It’s. Not. Easy. I don’t want to give myself “meets expectations” because I always think I can do better, learn more, strive for more. So, I’m bending the rules and sometimes checking “meets expectations” AND “needs improvements.” Why? Because I do meet the basic expectations (I suppose), but I want to improve.  I’m having trouble filling out this form (that was probably created by one of my macro/Word/Excel genius coworkers)–which is why it’s almost 11pm on a Thursday night and I am “working.” This is for me, though. It’s not part of the “requirements” for my job. I guess if I didn’t have time to do it (which I didn’t at work–obviously why I’m doing it now), I could not fill one out. But that wouldn’t benefit me. I went through every question, went with my 1st gut thought, and rated myself (through all my schooling I’ve learned to go with the gut feeling in this sort of circumstance). I am now at the “example/explanation” part–and I generally have a lot to say, so my responses are long. I’m mostly done, but dang. This is a crazy, thought-provoking experience–in a really good way. Writing things down is good. Writing things down is key to getting things done, for me at least. Writing things down helps me to secure an honest, open conversation. I remember to mention all my thoughts that way. And I can look back and reminisce on what was. I use moleskin notebooks at work and I write ALL over them. All different colors. Mismatched handwriting-some scribble, some doodles, some really neat (when I’m feeling super organized for a few minutes).  These are my thoughts. My “to-dos.” My “remember to put such and such on the calendar and call so and so back.” They’re fun to look back on. I think I’ll always keep this review–so in 15 years I can look back at what once was and consider how it brought me to that day. Hm. Wonder what I’ll be doing in 15 years?

And I was going to write a lot more…but I’m falling asleep. So I shall finish up in the morning. And maybe finish the rest of the post. Happy Friday!

This week has been/is a big week! Let’s say Sunday is the beginning of this week.

Sunday: John and I bought our first car together–my first car (that doesn’t belong to my parents)! It was due to an unfortunate, terrible accident (happened Friday) that involved one of my brothers, his friend, and the CRV I drove in college. The CRV is no more (prompting my brother to need my car), but more importantly Brian and Taylor are totally OK, which is a total miracle. I’m not going to show a picture of the car, because it’s not so good on the tummy. It looks like there is no way anyone survived. But they did, and other than suffering minor bruising and a few sores, they are ok. Alive and with us–most thankfully.  Sunday I also met with my sweet friend/wedding planner who is a HUGE help in coordinating a wedding with an invite list of 604 people thus far. Yes, you read that right. 604. No, they all won’t come, but it will also be opened to our church. Which is big. It’s going to be a huge, fun celebration! We got a lot done and I made a lot of decisions–which is key in getting things done! I’m very indecisive about all things decorating (mostly due to the fact that I know nothing about this topic). I know what I want/like, but I’m not sure how to make it work. Leah does, though. That’s why she’s a wedding planner. And she’s awesome. The reception will be a total reflection of who John and I are, mostly DIY (because we like DIY and it makes it more personal for us), and on the affordable side for such a huge room/guest # potential. So, Sunday–car and wedding planning. Also a living, breathing Brian.

This week: Work preparations for our semi-annual OM meeting, where our managers from our other offices come to my office (our headquarters) for a day-long meeting of planning and business-update stuff. OM meeting is Saturday, which means I spend this week in preparations. We are also hosting a dinner Saturday night (post-meeting) to honor those who have been with the company for 5 years or more–busy busy! A full, 6 day work week for all of us involved. Woo. John is also working on the LAST (30 page) paper he has to write for his current degree. Come Sunday, he will have completed a MS-Management degree. I couldn’t be prouder of him. It’ll be a long week (he works full time), but it’ll be worth it come Sunday night when it’s DONE! We’ll then have a few months when either of us are in school (he will likely start again in February–my Mr. Education), so that will be a nice change of pace/deviation from the norm for us.

This weekend: Work. Work. Work. For both John + me!

So, a busy week: New car, wedding planning, busy work, and the completion a degree!!

And–because I don’t really like to post with a picture, here’s a “behind the scenes” gem from our engagement photo shoot. You can judge it. John is really excited about something and I’m……about to do the chicken dance? What?